you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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