What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
