We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
