Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Come share oat with me in your robe
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize