I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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