I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
