Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize