I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I didn't notice because vodka
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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