omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
