I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
