Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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