haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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