my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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