Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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