My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
