thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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