Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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