So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
