I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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