that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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