i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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