For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
