You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
