I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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