If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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