Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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