Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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