we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Be still, my beating vagina.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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