they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Randomize
