that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
