That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
