you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
