Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
your like the ambassador to my penis.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
