Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
