We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
