it wasn't lemon gatorade
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Randomize
