I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
