maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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