Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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