u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
