I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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