awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
