I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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