Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize