I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
