Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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