Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
