toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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