the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
