my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize