She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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