Dual....:-)
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
