I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
