Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize