and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
