I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
