i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
