pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
