the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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