the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
